Where my thought’s escaping

sabi ni kuya bong, mayroon daw buyer na interesadong bumili sa bahay namin sa antipolo. binigyan ko ng price na medyo on the high side in the hope na hindi kakagatin. kinagat pa rin. from the looks of it, mukhang maipagbibili na ito. matagal na akong nagdadalawang isip kung ibibenta nga siya dahil ito ang una naming bahay ni jet. pero parang dumating na yung oras para talagang bitawan na siya.

heto na naman ako, unti-unti na namang nakakaramdam na nawawala ang kapit ng pilipinas. isa-isa na kasing inaalis yung mga bagay na nagdudugtong sa akin sa kanya. it’s as if mayroong deconstruction na nangyayari. we build new lives here in california habang nagiging ala-ala na lang ang naiwang tahanan. yeah baby, turn, turn, turn.

35 thoughts on “Where my thought’s escaping

  1. tol,

    feel na feel ko itong latest journal mo not because i experienced it before but because i can clearly picture what you’re going through. even if your mom comes to live with you, even if all your kadugo goes to the states and all your friends and classmates goes with them, you will never leave pilipinas and you will never stop being a pinoy. you know why? aside from being born here, this place is where you first set your eyes, where you made your first step, the place where you said the first word when you started talking, the place where you first laugh and cry. the place kung saan ka tinuli, your first jackol and so on and so forth. so how in the world your selling your house in antipolo cut your ties with where you came from??? do i make sence?

    eto pa tol, sa amerika ang matatanda eh iniiwan lang sa nursing homes to wait their time eh dito sa atin eh inaalagaan natin ang mga matatanda natin hanggang sa huling hibla ng buhay nila. i am very sure na babalik din kayo dito sa lupang hinirang sa tamang oras. di ba gusto mong mag-garden? a little adjustment lang kasi by the time na magreretiro ka na eh napakayaman mo na at makakabili ka na ng asyenda where you can truely enjoy life by gardening or writing your memoirs.

    cheers tol! you will never forget where you came from i am darn sure about it. by the way, my wife is also from the david clan of san fernando. who knows baka magkamaganak pa kayo eh me reason na to see and meet you and have some beers. napahaba ata comment ko. sori tol.

    all the best…..bong

  2. tol, di ka mauubusan ng dahilan believe me. kahit na pinakamaliit na dahilan kagaya ng gusto mong kumain ng kwek-kwek will be enough reason to come home. relax ka lang and enjoy ninyo ni ma’am jet all thats happening. cheers brod!

  3. I can relate to what you’re going through for I went through the same thing years ago. The process took several years because that’s how long it takes for us to define and feel what our new “home” is going to be.

    Homeward bound ka na nga, Pards. Except this time, home has become a different place. All’s well pa rin as long as you and Jet remain happy and content in the place that you’ve come to call as your new home.

  4. home is where your heart is. kahit saan pang lupalop ng mundo iyan, as long as kasama mo ang mahal mo at maligaya ka, yan ang tunay na home.

  5. unkyel, i’ve been through this road before, and i am afraid i may be going through another one only now its CA instead of isabela. i’ve lived here in CA more than i’ve lived in isabela….

    ….it will probably make more sense if i my spouse is in the military, but even when i was….i didn’t give it a chance to move – that’s because i didn’t want to leave CA.

  6. i’ve been a silent reader of your blog for a long time now… once in a while i make comments pero very seldom talaga. i share the same feelings though andito lang naman ako sa manila pero kasi, meron din gusto bumili ng house namin sa province – isabela. i always look forward going home in the province everytime i have the chance, khit nga overnight lang basta makauwi ok na ako. sabi nga ng mom ko, pagod lang ng katawan ang ginagawa ko kasi minsan twice or 3 times in a month ako kung umuwi. last year, my mom decided to stay here with us in manila and wala na tumitira sa house namin sa isabela. just last month, my cousin called and mron daw interesado bumili. we’re having second thought whether to sell it or not… may pros and cons. ang hirap magdecide lalo na at may sentimental value yung house… andun lahat ng magaganda at di ganun kagandang memories. bottomline, dpat makapag decide agad kc sooner or later ibebenta at ibebenta din yun house. ang tanong lang eh kung kelan..

  7. My husband and I immigrated to Vancouver in 2000, moved to Singapore for his job in 2004 and are once again immigrants here in the US since late 2006. We are thankful to be so blessed with these opportunities but I feel “The emigrant’s destiny: the foreign country has not become home, but home has become foreign…” (Alfred Polger)

  8. home has become foreign – very apt for us as well. or i just thought of this as i was typing: perhaps the foreign has become home.

    thank you for commenting maal. kapampangan ka ba? isa na namang taga isabela. tumira ako sa santiago nung 1979 at nag-aral ako ng first year high school sa la salette. ramdam ko rin ang sinasabi mo – mahirap bitawan yung mga bagay na mahalaga iyo kahit hindi na ito practical.

  9. Yung mga kamag-anak nang lolo kong nag “apple picker” sa state noong ’50s, umuwi sa Pinas para doon humimlay. It’s some what romantic that after spending almost all your life in another country, you opt to die where you where born.

  10. batjay, you can make your feeling complete that California is indeed your home by buying a couple of plots in Rose Hills or Forest Lawn.

  11. umuwi ka pa dito sa pinas.. madami kang fans ang gusto ka pang makita..:) haha.. yun yun eh..:)

    hirap nga ng ganyan, ganyan din ang pakiramdam ko pag pwede akong mamili kung pakakawalan ko ba ang isang bagay (dahil magbebenefit ako) o hindi (kasi may value sa aking puso).. kaya mo yan..:)

  12. Pare dba nga sabi mo Tinaasan mo ang PRESYO dahil sa tingin mo di kakagatin. dalawa ang nakatago na gusto mo sabihin.. Tinaasan mo kasi ayaw mo talga mabitiwan ito, pangalawa Kinagat kahit mahal dahil yong bibili kahit iLiBing mo man PATiWARiK at Bunotin ng ilang Beses at IBALiK, Pare! walang kapantay ang Pinas! Cheers! Pare pag nagkabayaran daan mo lang kami kahit isang BILOG solve tayo jan!!

  13. JJ Klasmeyt.,

    Kung hindi mo kailangan yung pera, at kaya mo namang i maintain, just keep it. Matagal na rin ako dito sa Amerika, pero hindi nawawala yung desire ko na bumalik sa atin, kahit sandali lang.

    Sonny Boy

  14. hehey sonny boy pogi.

    musta na sir? oo nga. pinag iisipan ko pa rin pero kung talagang bibilihin na mataas ang price, ibibenta ko na lang tapos bibili ako sa ibang lugar.

  15. It is our first home. The operative word here is ‘first.’ Which means there will be a second, which we now have. Perhaps there will be a third… the place where we always said we will enjoy overcast skies, and a more sober sunset, cool evening breeze. We have had worse, the physicality of it made more bearable because there was always the prospect of going home, not to a house somewhere, but to each other. I’d take that any time. 🙂

  16. unkyel, hindi ko alam ang mararamdaman ko sa nangyayari sa buhay mo ngayon, marahil after so-and-so number of years baka maging ganyan na din ako. pero ngayon kasi, gusto ko pa din bumalik ng pinas para dun pag-aralin ang anak ko, i don’t know, pero gusto ko kasi ang pinagdaanan namin habang lumalaki kami sa pinas. kaya gusto ko din maranasan un ng anak ko. un po.

  17. pandag dag sa turn turn turn mo sir

    “Come to me now
    And rest your head for just five minutes
    Everything is good
    Such a cosy room
    The windows are illuminated
    By the sunshine through them
    Fiery gems for you
    Only for you”..

    🙂

  18. bilocana po ako (pinaghalong ilocana at bicolana). la salette? madami din ako friends na dun nag aral. dpa rin kami nakakapagdecide kung ibebenta yung bahay or hindi. nakakatawa lang kasi hindi pa rin nag gi-give-up yung taong bibili *sigh*

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