The best way to lose weight is to eat all you want of everything you don’t like

SNAPPY ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS WHO HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN A LONG TIME:

FRIEND FROM THE PHILIPPINES: “long time no see, tumataba ka yata!
BATJAY: “tangina mo rin”

FRIEND FROM THE PI: “ang taba mo. ano bang ginagawa mo sa singapore?”
BATJAY: “panay ang jakol”

FRIEND FROM THE PI: “hoy pangit, magpapayat ka naman”
BATJAY: “isang bala ka lang, kinanginamo”

FRIEND FROM THE PI: “ano ang timbang mo ngayon, sir?”
BATJAY: “mahigit limang kilo”

FRIEND FROM THE PI: “bakit ang taba mo ngayon dre?”
BATJAY: “huminto na kasi ako sa pag shabu”

FRIEND FROM THE PI: “ang laki ng pinagbago mo. taba mo ngayon, sobra!”
BATJAY: “ikaw naman, wala ka nang pag asang mag bago: pangit ka pa rin”.

PAMANGKIN FROM THE PI: “tito batjay baboy, tito batjay baboy, tito bat…”
BATJAY: “hindi ka ba titigil? um!” (KWAPAK!)

41 thoughts on “The best way to lose weight is to eat all you want of everything you don’t like

  1. Grrrrr — I HATE rude comments like that. What — they think we’re so stupid we don’t even notice we’ve gained weight and they’re doing us a favor by pointing it out to us?

    Last time I went home my cousin saw me and asked, “O naman, anong nangyari sa iyo? Bakit ka nagkaganyan?”
    “Ano? Anong nangyari sa akin?”
    “Bakit tumaba ka?”
    “Ah…bakit, naiinggit ka ba? Madali naman tumaba eh — basta masaya ka lang sa buhay.”

    Tameme siya. Buti nga. Pumapayat na ako — pero pangit pa rin siya. 🙂

  2. uhmm… gamitin ko kayang sagot yung 2nd answer??? para matuluyan na siya, LOL but seriously, pipol cant find anything to criticize someone kaya yun ang sinasabi, and at times out of inggit.

  3. Manong, he he he.. sige na nga kuya na lang.. he he he.. o di kaya “Batjay” na lang. Alam mo bang na-ekspayr este na-inspayr ako sa paggawa ng blag este blog ng dahil sa iyo. “Idol” add kita sa mga links ko ha.. inge muna ko permiso sayo bago ko gawin.. w8 n lang ako reply sau manong este kuya este “BatJay”

    Sikret to ha,wag mo pagkakalat, atin atin na lang toh.
    (nagbabate din ako tulad mo he he he)

  4. nung minsan i had this kind of conversation during my friend’s dad’s funeral and it went like this:

    my friend’s family friend: alam mo iha maganda ka .

    me (smiling): ay, salamat po.

    my friend’s family friend: pero kailangan mong magpapayat.

    me (nahiya bigla): don’t worry po. i’m working on it.

    my friend’s family friend: have you tried the south beach diet? sobrang effective kasi yung anak ko…blah blah blah blah blah.

    ako naman si gaga, tango lang ng tango. my other friend seated beside was the one who felt insulted for me from the remarks she made.

    ako naman, i love to eat and i am comfy with my body. sometimes i try to shed pounds as much as i can for certain occasions. siguro nga namanhid na ako because mula sa sariling nanay ko na mismo nagsasabi sa akin ng ganon.

    ah ewan. kung pwede lang ibalik ang mga sinaunang panahon na ang matataba ang IN at ang mga waif ang baduy.

    drama ko na ba? sige…..sa susunod…..

  5. bravo!

    I think people should understand that weight and age is not something that should be asked candidly unless they are being paid to ask that. It is a personal matter and asking it is RUDE! WHat more making a comment about it. Not just being fat, even being skinny. Remarks such as you are getting fat or you look old should be avoided. May your intention be good or nice, leave that matter out.

  6. If someone (just like my maternal uncles) asks you an insensitive question like that:

    Step 1. Daanin mo na lang sa malakas na MAG-ASAWANG SAMPAL.
    Step 2. Mag-beautiful eyes at sabihin, “Pardon me?”
    Step 3. Kapag ulitin niya ang tanong, e di repeat Step 1.

  7. hello, kuya batjay. ako’y nagbabasa ng blog mo araw-araw (este, pag may update) dahil ito’y nakakaaliw.

    anyway, sinasabi lang naman nila yan dahil wala silang masabi eh. but, i wouldn’t know since di naman ako mataba.

  8. pahiram ako ng mga reason mo ha.. lalo na yung unang reason parang masarap ulit ulitin lalo na kapag bukal sa loob ko yung pagkakasabi…. hehehe 🙂

  9. ako naman, nung mataba ako, sabi nila “ang taba taba mo na!” tapos ngayong pumayat ako, sabi naman nila, “magpataba ka nga, ang payat mo na!” ano ba talaga noh!

  10. hahahaha

    ako, inuunahan ko na ng “oo, tumaba ako.”

    ang mi amor ko naman ay nasabihan ng, “did you gain weight?” rude diba?

    oh well… ganun lang talaga. tumataba pag nagmamahalan. hehehe

  11. Is this a Filipino thing to highlight something negative (not that being malusog is negative)? Kasi sa iba, they always say hey you’re looking good!

    May isa pa akong hate pag umuuwi ako lalo na sa Leyte, bayan ni first lady. Everytime I run into a relative or a friend I haven’t seen in a while, the second thing (after saying uy ang taba/ payat mo ngayon depending on my weight phase that moment) is: “O, may asawa/ boyfriend ka na ba?” OR “Kelan ka magaasawa?” Like it’s their life, like it’s their money I’ll be using for my wedding or to buy milk for my children. Like so asar ha!

  12. hi yasmin.

    hirap talaga for a pinay, especially in your case, who loves her career and is in no hurry to marry. pag umuwi sa hometown or even if you’re with family – “kailan ka ba mag-aasawa” ang parating tanong. it’s a blessing then that you’ve moved out. singapore would be ideal for you – over here nobody would even wonder why a 40 year old woman is still single. everybody’s cool about it which is great.

  13. Hi batman…
    Kuhang-kuha mo ang mga common situations.. Weird ng Pinoy ‘no? You don’t see them for 10 years and the first thing most of them will point out is your weight.
    I had a guest last year whom I haven’t seen since uni days and he keeps pointing at my old pictures asking what I feel when I look at it…
    Sana nilason ko na lang sya habang nilalapang nya ang leche flan ko hehehe

  14. Hate ko rin yan!!! Ang standard line ko nalang, “Eh hiyang ako sa married life at sa trabaho ko eh!”

    That usually shuts them up. Hehe.

  15. alam mo batjay, i get so embarasd when people ask me that kasi i gained 20lbs. gusto kong isagot yung suggestion mo na sabihan silang pangit.

    blogger once told me though, that if yer comfortable with your weight, people shouldnt be bothered with how you look. gusto ko nang pumayat!

  16. oo nga. para matauhan naman sila sa pilipinas kahit papaano. ganyan din ako pag nauwi – bakit ang taba mo, bakit wala pa kayong anak? etc etc. nakakainis din minsan.

    hindi ko maaabutan si neil dito sa singapore. aalis na kami sa sunday. inis na inis ako. siguro hahabulin ko na lang siya sa comic convention sa san diego.

    ingat!
    jay

  17. hi auee, the loose vowels.

    sana nilason mo na lang nga yung guest mo. hehe. huwag naman. pwedeng ativan na lang tapos itali mo sa statue ni eros sa picadilly circus ng nakahubo.

  18. nasurf ko ng maraming beses ang website mo and natatawa ako sa mga jokes mo,in fairness marami naman akong nalamang info about ur life in Singapore..punta na rin ako dun with my kids..next month..ok ciao regards sa misis mo.

  19. Fave ko pa rin yung sinagot nung friend ko sa mahaderang nagsabing tumaba sya:

    “Iha, better to be a has-been than a never-been like you.”

    Bow

  20. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    that’s a classic line that i’ll use next time somebody mentions my weight in casual conversation. either that or they’ll get a knuckle sandwich.

    ingat,
    jay

    PS – best regards to the UnLawyer. I haven’t heard from him in a while.

  21. Hello rin daw from hubbydabs. Busy kasing kate-taste test ng mga niluluto ko from a Moroccan cookbook he got for me. Come to think of it, panay cookbook ang binibigay sa kin, a? Hmmmm. At least, pag tumaba sya ng husto, may one-liner na syang pwedeng isagot sa mga mahadera mwahahaha!

  22. may mga taong kala mo perpekto.. walang ibang magawa kundi tignan ang bilbil mo kung mataba.. who cares?!

    pag payat naman, mukha naman daw anorexic.. ano ba talaga kuya?!

    pero kahit ano pa man.. mataba or payat basta masaya!

  23. masyadong late na tong reply ko but aliw kc ako kc marami akong pambara. Hehehe!

    Famous line:
    “I’m fat but you’re ugly, i can always slim down. But you, can you change your face?”

    Famous conversation #1:
    Insensitive friend: Ano ba nakain mo? Ba’t ka ganyan na kataba?
    Si ako: Marami.(Sabay sweet smile)

    Famous conversation #2:
    Insensitive tita: Ang laki-laki mo na talaga.
    Si ako: actually tita mejo naglose na ako kunti ng weight. nagboboxing na kc ako.
    Insensitive tita: Ayy!? Bakit boxing? Lalaki muscles mo nyan. Maggym ka n lng.
    Si ako: (ffleeeaze! Stoff meh! Pwede ko na bang jumbagin? Halleer!)

    Famous conversation #3:
    Pangit na friend: baby na ba yan? Ilang months na? (sabay hawak sa tyan,este,bilbil ko.)
    Si ako: yeah. Baby. Baby fats..

    Famous conversation #4:
    Tsismosang relative: ba’t wala pa kayong baby? Papayat ka kasi. Andami mo kasing fats..
    Si ako: Now ko lng kc nalaman na bading pala ako.ü magpapasex change pa ako.

    Tsismosang relative: hahaha! Hubarin mo kc panties mo.
    Si ako: Kasama ba brief ng asawa ko?

    Si Super pangit: buntis ka?
    Si ako: hindi.
    Si Super pangit: hindi nga?Kakapanganak mo lang?
    Si ako: hindi rin.
    Si Super pangit: di nga? Pagsure ba.
    Si ako: sure nga.
    Si super pangit: antaba-taba mo na kasi. Dapat mgpapayat ka blah blah blah blah…
    Si ako: (üsuper sweet smileü then say my famous line with feelings..)

  24. Iba na kaya ngayon as in mga pangit nagbabatian (ang lalakas pa ng boses) girl ang ganda ganda mo naman OR ang seksi seksi mo sa suot mo. . Plastikan. Ikaw ang nakikinig lang di mo ma take. Buwaha ha. Kilabots. LOL

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