And if I should fall behind

ang topic namin ngayon sa “The Rebels Without Because” ay tungkol sa poverty at ito ang contribution ko. this isn’t really a poverty post but it’s very close. this is about our struggling years as husband and wife. i’m sure you know the story by now, but i’ll tell it again because it’s a great story. i met jet when i was just out of college, oh maybe 18 years or so ago. i didn’t have any job at that time but i was confident (or maybe even stupid or naive to believe) that i’d immediately get work. our family also didn’t have much and was struggling. i didn’t have any money myself – all i had was my education and a lot of bullshit. well, i did get a job a month after graduating and it paid big: 2,000 pesos. just enough to give my mom some money and expenses to get to and from work.


jay and jet at home

so when jet and i decided to get married, we didn’t have any money. well we did have money – just enough to pay the guy at the kalookan city hall to marry us. i didn’t want to accept any doleout from anybody. well nobody offered really because we were all hard up. but if somebody did offer any money to pay for our wedding, i still would have refused. we also didn’t have any wedding rings because we just didn’t have the money to buy them. i maybe just imagining this now because it was so long ago, but during the ceremony, we were asked about the rings. we couldn’t show any so the guy who married us lent us wedding rings so we’d have something to show during the ceremony.

not that it really mattered because nobody was there except two of my friends who were our witnesses. our parents didn’t attend. we just told them that we were getting hooked at so and so date and they just gave their blessings and well… that was it. no rings, no guests, no family – it was a very simple wedding.

jay and jet at home when they were still young

for our reception, jet and i went to jolibee and ordered chicken joy and burgers. we sent our witnesses home because we didn’t have the money to pay for their food. we went home as husband and wife after lunch and went back to work the next day. honeymoon? no money.

and so for the next eight or nine years, jet and i would live in my mom’s house. we had a small bedroom. maybe 8 by 10 feet which was hot as hell during summer. all of our stuff was in that room – a cushion without a bed, one tv and… well, that was it.

then things started to change – after a while my career took off and we were able to save a little. i worked for a company that recognized talent. well, they did give me money to buy a house. i remember when we were house hunting – jet and i went to antipolo to look and she immediately knew the house that she wanted. we signed on the dotted line and it was ours. it was the culmination of so many years of struggle.

if you ask me today if i had a rough time when we were building our lives, i’d probably say i don’t know. it was certainly hard but we were happy. perhaps one of the happiest times in our marriage. what was pleasurable in the struggle? i’m not sure. perhaps because it was fun trying to save enough to buy each other presents with the little that we had. perhaps it was because we were happy looking for coins in the house so we could have enough to buy our groceries. perhaps because it was such an adventure to look for the cheapest food so our savings would last the month. perhaps it was great sleeping with my wife at night in a bed that was meant for one person. we were happy in the struggle because ultimately we know that after all the shit we’d find redemption.

if i had to do it all over again, i wouldn’t change anything. well, there is one thing actually – i’d probably take better care of my teeth. the dental expenses here in california is so fucking outrageous.


pakinggan ang SUPER DRAMA SA BUHAY PODCAST. you’ll like it now, you’ll learn to love it later.

40 thoughts on “And if I should fall behind

  1. awwwww! how sweet! 😀

    mahal po talaga ang pagpapadentista dito sa cali. mas mahal pa kesa sa airfare papuntang manila.

  2. Hi KB – I LOVE this story. It really reminds us all that — as corny as it may sound — the journey is the destination. All those struggles brought you and Jet together as a solid team. In the end, that’s what being husband and wife is all about, di ba?

  3. hey gigi. welcome back – i hope you had a great trip. it probably was hot in manila no?

    tama ka, the journey is the destination. the struggling years were the best. pero mahaba pa yung journey namin kaya di pa tapos ang story.

    sana sa inyo din ni boss arnel – walang katapusang kaligayahan.

  4. actually, a lot of young couples went through the same story, but you and ma’am jet surpassed it all with flying colors… yun ang da best sa story mo, idol 🙂

  5. magpaparamdam lang upang ipaalam sa iyo na binabasa ko ng regular ang iyong mga entries kahit nuong nasa singapore ka pa. we have similar experiences at salamat sa mga input mo. kung magawi ka sa cincinnati, let me know, para malibre naman kita ng kape. galing ng blog mo, more power.

  6. Your story never fails to inspire me. After hitting rock bottom, there’s really no way but up. By the way, congrats too for the 20lbs. lost.

  7. pare parehas naman pala tayo ng istorya sa buhay..kasabihan ko naman, better to start at the bottom and work your way up rather than handing out your life on a silver platter from the very top and watch your face hit rock bottom..
    kumbaga e parang gulong ng palad (huhuhu) minsan nasa ilalim, minsan nasa ibabaw (parang sex)..
    sa caloocan ka pala ikinasal, e taga caloocan din ako and my sisters still sa a. mabini..

  8. you ain’t seen nothin yet – i plan to lose 50 pounds. there is 30 more to go. hindi naman kami nag rock bottom, maria – which is just as well. pero medyo malayo na rin ang narating namin simula nang magsimula. sana mas malayo pa ang mapuntahan.

  9. hey rule. you rule. maraming salamat – taga OHIO ka pala. i’ve never been there ever and am looking forward. marami kaming business sa cleveland dahil maraming mga industrial plants doon. more power din sa iyo.

  10. Very inspiring yung kwento nyo. Isn’t it always great to look back and see what you have gone through? Based on your story, it looks like you enjoyed every step of the way. Was it a struggle? Siguro depende sa perspectives.

  11. hehe. oo nga parang parents ko. nagtayo nga sila ng cafe at ihawan at nag-a-argue sila dahil gusto ng daddy ko gumawa ng sariling uling. 🙂

    okay naman. pabalik-balik ng baguio para di ma-bore dito. hehehe.

    hi jet!

  12. medyo kita nga sa pix nyo boss yung sign of success.
    congrats sa 20 lbs.
    ako nageexercise na rin, mahirap na, me mga relative din akong diabetic eh, dinadalasan ko na ang makipaglaro sa mga bata… atsaka ke misis. hehehe.
    ty uli sa space, bossing!

  13. ok yung story mo dre. madaling maka relate kasi ganyan din ang buhay namin. syanga pala, tga notre din ako, laking grace park caloocan. batch 84. isa ako sa tga subaybay ng blog mo. dito ako ngayon sa toronto with my family. struggling pa din. pero full of hope. just keep posting, we’ll keep reading.

  14. awright batch 84. nauna lang ako sa iyo ng 1 year. notre loyalist from kinder to high school at lahat ng mga kabarkada ko hanggang ngayon ay mga classmates ko simula kinder. salamat sa paramdam mo – natutuwa ako pag mga school mate ko ang nag comment. nasa malamig na lugar ka pala.

    ingat.

  15. sana nga ma-meet mo sila. matutuwa sa inyo ang daddy ko kasi nag-struggle din kayo at naging successful.

    sige pag nagpunta kayo sa ihawan at cafe nila, pagkatapos nyong kumain, dun naman kayo sa inuman sa tabi. akin naman yun. 🙂

    ingat kayo lagi.

  16. that’s a very senti post. the best part of it is you both made it through all of the heartaches & struggles! iba talaga ang nagagawa ng real love.

    here’s to more abundant years for you and tita jet!

  17. Gosh naiyak na naman ako…na-miss ko na naman kayo ni Jet…though I know your story dahil nandon naman ako almost entire of your union, pero di ko lubos maiisip na parang kailan lang…hirap ka at ngayon…hirap pa rin (hehehe)..i mean asensado na…ang layo kaya ng narating mo, mula sa Pilipinas nasa America na

  18. hi yasmin. kamusta ka na? hindi na natuloy ang bangkok vacation namin ni jet. no – i probably won’t appreciate it if jet were not with me. she was a major part of all the success we’ve had so far.

  19. Nakakatuwa at nakaka-inspire naman ang kwento mo, Batjay. Iba talaga ang nagagawa ng true love, basta magkasama kayo lahat makakaya.

    Regards kay Ms. Jet.

  20. Hi Batjay,

    I remember greeting you and Jet dito sa blog during your recent anniversary… was that when you wrote the other version of the above article?

    Reminded me of my parents getting married Valentine’s Day in 1967. They went to Quezon City Hall with their best man na brod ni Tatay. Yung female witness hindi nila kilala, secretary yata ng judge na nagkasal sa kanila. The rings they had were bought from some Chinese store that described them as being “yellow metal”, hehehe. After the civil ceremony they had a reception of halo-halo merienda for 3 at Little Quiapo, an eatery behind the building. Yun lang kasi ma-afford nila.

    Bago sila nag 25th anniversary niloko ni Nanay si Tatay, “Uy, 25 years na tayo tsaka ang taba na ng fingers ko, di ko na masuot yung yellow metal ring mo!” E di siyempre dahil naging successful engineer na din ang dad ko, natawa na lang siya at nung Valentine’s Day nabigyan niya din ng platinum wedding band ang Nanay ko.

    Pero tinatago pa rin nila yung yellow metal wedding rings, kasi it makes good sense to remember how far you’ve gotten together, di ba?

    Mona

  21. hi mona.

    wow. idol ko ang dad mo and so similar to our story. i always make an anniversary post every may 25. it’s been on-going for a few years now. my blog will turn 5 this september so there should be 4 posts or so about our wedding. you can look at the archives if you like.

    i’ll probably get jet a platinum band as well when we reach 20. this may is our 15th year. time flies.

    ingat!
    jay

  22. hi. hindi ako regular na bumibisita sa site mo, but I guess, somebody from the cyberspace hit my fingers happily and guided me through your site, specifically ang istorya nyo ni Jet. Nakakatuwa na malaman na may lalaking kagaya mo, very open at totoo. Napaiyak ako actually. At hindi pa ako nakuntento, I blogged it too! I hope you don’t mind 🙂

    My congratulations to you and Jet! Happy 15th Anniversary, belated 🙂

    V

  23. Kumusta na ang dental expenses mo? tinuloy mo pa ba? Balik ka sa pinas mura lang ang extraction, 2sinko dito yan.

    hehehe, just want to say you made me laugh after your comment dun sa Cindy. now lang po ako nakarating sa site mo… nadevirginized nyo ako sa inyong lathala… pirst tyme po ako tumawa ng malakas sa mga blog at nasa opisina ako ng nangyari.. kaya ako’y humanga sa inyo… more power po.

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